Texting: Luxury or Necessity?
Do teenagers REALLY NEED to be ready for that ALL IMPORTANT text like, "Are you awake?"
I have a question and hopefully someone has an answer. Is texting a luxury or a necessity? I am totally on board with having a cell phone as a necessity. It’s comforting for me to know that our 14-year-old, as she has more freedoms, owns a phone I can call to get in touch with her. But texting? I’m not quite sure.
I feel I can be a “cool” parent—or maybe not since I just wrote that--but I have not jumped on the texting bandwagon. Oh sure, I’ve texted, but it takes me a long time to get a sentence out (maybe that’s because I’m writing sentences) and I have no idea how to send numbers! I tried to text her yesterday with a phone number and gave up, texting instead, “Call me.”
I don’t have a texting plan but we let our daughter Hannah have one for her birthday last June. She already has an iPod and in fact received a new one for Christmas that has an application called text-free and yet we still pay the monthly fee for texting on her phone. Does that beg the question, "What is wrong with us?"
Back to my original query. Luxury or necessity? Doesn’t everything boil down to those two choices when spending money on our children? What do you think?
Texting is on my mind because of a very interesting article The Boston Globe ran last weekend. Basically, there’s a trend where teens are not getting enough sleep because they are always waiting for the next text on their phone. You know, those “emergency texts” that MUST be answered such as, “Are you awake?”
One young lady, according to the Globe, feels she’s not herself if her phone isn’t near her or if she’s not on it!
As a result of harboring their phones under their pillows, these kids don’t enter Stage 4 REM sleep, which is crucial to a good night’s rest.
Hmmm…a 2011 security blanket or a teddy bear that one must have--and you don't even get a solid eight hours?
This article got me thinking…we are a society that is always “on.”
We have our televisions, PCs, laptops, cell phones, iPods, and sound docks, just to name a few. How can we expect our children to be responsible with their electronics when we are just as glued to our own?
Well, the old adage, “because I said so” comes to mind, which, by the way, I use quite frequently. Also, “do as I say, not as I do.”
Now I’m not saying anything we as parents of teens don't already know, but my husband has said it’s like she’s addicted to her phone, and we make sure she’s not using it at dinner and it’s out of her room when she goes to bed!
I’m all about identifying problems and coming up with solutions. Is she on her phone too much (well, sometimes) and how do we regulate that? How do we do this when we ourselves are “on”?
Hey, this article is for an online news source!
I'm making up my own adage: "One day at a time, one text at a time."
Marisa Powers
9:50 am on Sunday, April 3, 2011
that's a toughie. i have my phone around all the time. i certainly do much more texting than calling, and that's because i don't often have the luxury of having a real, uninterrupted phone call. but for my kids (when they get older)?
the kids at my work literally cannot go half an hour without checking their phones. that seems weird to me. i leave my phone in my purse when i am working.
i'd like to think that phone use will be limited, like tv or computer use, but that might not play out well in practice.
on the other hand, maybe it's nice to never feel alone. on the other other hand, a lot of emotional progress can get done when one is alone.
i don't know, lisa! kids are crazy!
Lisa Carlon
7:12 pm on Monday, April 4, 2011
Hi Marisa,
I wonder if because I didn't get my first cell phone until I was in my 30s may have something to do with not texting? I'd prefer to talk on the phone. Maybe it's because I talk too much! :-}
It's funny you mention the kids at work always checking their phones--when my family ran the snack bar at the old Kennedy Rink our first rule was cell phones were to be left in the back room. If their parents needed to get in touch with them they knew they could call our work phone.
Yes I agree Marisa, kids are crazy! But...when my daughter is at the mall it's nice to know I can call her anytime I need to. Not text, that would take too long, I call. :-}
Tim
10:01 am on Sunday, April 3, 2011
I cannot believe how many texts teens send/recieve in a month. My girlfriends daughter (13 yrs old) has a regular monthly text count of over 13,000. Yes, thirteen thousand! There have been months with much more than that...
Lisa Carlon
7:13 pm on Monday, April 4, 2011
Tim,
All I can say is....YIKES--13,000! But if she's an "A" student then it's all good right?
Tim
10:02 am on Sunday, April 3, 2011
oh, and here is the good news....she is a straight "A" student!
deirdre kyle
11:21 am on Monday, April 4, 2011
Ha-ha, Lisa, I am laughing out loud!! As reluctant as I was to get the unlimited "free" texting for my kids, it truly helps me to stay in touch with them. I cannot always answer my phone at work, but I can view a message without interruption, and I love receiving little texts in the afternoon, like "I'm on bus ILY", or "Where R U??" when I'm running a bit late to pick them up. I must admit that I even like to receive, "Whatz for dinner?" or "2 much hmwk". Yet, I do remind my kids that I grew up in a family of 7, with one phone, that was connected to the wall, and you had to sit in the den where everyone could hear your conversations. They truly cannot conceive of that. Such a different world than when we were growing up!!
Lisa Carlon
7:14 pm on Monday, April 4, 2011
Deirdre,
Y0u crack me up! Hmmm...a world so different for us than for our kids...do I sense the subject of a column?
Remember when we actually had to get up and turn the channel on the TV and there were only 6 or so channels?
Me
8:01 pm on Monday, April 4, 2011
In the "I remember when...." department, my parents didn't buy a color tv until the early 1980's! I remember my younger brother and I arguing about what colors things were on the black & white tv.
Lisa Carlon
9:06 pm on Monday, April 4, 2011
Hi Niki,
I love this! Please, if anyone has any "I remember when..." it would be fun to get a discussion going! Your story is similar to stories my husband tells of black & white and color tvs.
I remember when my parents purchased their first VCR in 1983 and the first movie I watched on it was the original "Time Machine."
Thanks for the reply!
Lisa Carlon
9:07 pm on Monday, April 4, 2011
If anyone saw the show Chronicle on channel 5 tonight it was very interesting. It was on the pros and cons of Facebook.
Maura Shanahan
10:50 pm on Monday, April 4, 2011
Hey Lisa, look what I found on Facebook. According to my 15 year old, I am the meanest Mom in the world. She is the only child attending BHS that does not have unlimited texting. She has 300 texts and then is shut off. So that means for about 2 weeks every month she is untextable (is that a word?). She has really never complained about it. I get occasional conversations about getting unlimited texting. But she is still so connected through facebook and school interactions during the day (which are the most important interactions our children should be making - face to face). I once said you have used up your text and she reply it will only be 2 weeks until I can texted again. Proving it is not all that important or can be replaced with another form of communication. My advice: children need limits. The limits look different then when we were teens. Limit texting. It just might give your child the rest/out/excuse they may need to be a regular teenager (with all those other worries already on their mind). Texting has its advantages but talking person to person makes you have to step up the bar. And that is a great character builder.